Bryan's Hideout
The Only Place I Can Be Myself

The Distance

By Bryan
Life's crap...
Chinese New Year is coming.
But i don't even have the mood to celebrate the occasion.
Really phobia of deaths.
Please, i pray hard...
Please don't let anyone close to me leave my circle.
One after another,
i really can't take it anymore.

It feels like 1000 miles apart although i am standing next to you. And i have to agree that the furthest distance is that, while i am standing next to you, no matter how much i struggle,i will never reach my destination. You are still far beyond my reach. Helplessly grabbing into something, but is there anything that can support me?
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Six feet from the Edge

By Bryan



Please come love
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I've found the road to no where
And i'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...

CHORUS
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down

I'm lookin down
Now that its over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out
Heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Let me say..

(CHORUS)

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
(repeat)

I'm so far down
Sad eyes follow me
Well I still believe there's something there for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me...
you an me...you and me

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down....
(repeat)

Please come now
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe...
I am suffocating...did i took the wrong guess?

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Of home and many more

By Bryan
Just finish hanging out with friends.
Kinda chill out after studying for a few hours.
Mind was about to burst.
So we decided to go yum cha.
Talked abit, joked abit.
And with a blink of an eye,
it's time to go back.

Drove home alone.
Riding on my little red aka scooter.
The ride home usually takes 5 minutes.
But in that 5 minutes, it seemed so long.
Riding alone in the dark,
it's very quiet.
Yeapz....it feels kinda lonely.
As soon as i got home,
i glanced up upon the sky.
Stars are shining brightly,
glittering magnificently,
trying to shine it's way through the pitch dark sky,
as if they were angels dancing around the sky.

And that's when something deep within my heart
were forcing its way out.
Screaming loudly, signifying something to my brain.
I'm miss.....
but what do i miss?
Friends?admirer?school?life?
None of it.

and i realized, i miss home.
It's been around 1-2 months since i went home.
I miss my family terribly.
I hate exams.
and I miss home.
I wana go home.
My heart is pounding...
Soon, i might not be able to control myself
tell me, what should i do?
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Life is too short regret, forget and stay sad

By Bryan

I am just a vessel, a vessel that contains what you call a soul...

I am Given a name and a shape, i might live for a day,a year, a decade or a century...

But no matter what i do and what i want,

One day, i will be gone...

What's left of me,

are just memories and legacies.

Life's too short to regret,

life's too short to stay sad,

life's too brief to get mad,

so instead just look at a brighter side.

Move on, but keep the memories alive.

I will not say i am not afraid of death.

But if one day my life is about to end,

I just want to see smiles instead of tears.

Lolz...it's selfish but yeapz...

Smile and the world smiles along...

i will be smiling as well... ;)

So don't cry for me.

I am not writing a will or something.

It is just that i discover how short a life can be.

So i am gonna work hard on my life.

To do what i wana do,

and to tell everyone i love them.

I have my bad sides,

I might make some people angry because yeah,

sometimes my mouth is bad and i criticize people alot.

+ i like to tease lots of people for my own joy.

If i offended any, i am sorry... @@

Life's kinda tough lately.

Final year project is on the rush.

Final is coming.

Time management is important.

Guess that i have to start study soon.

I don't wana let my parents down anymore.

CGPA 3.0 is my target.

Hope i can achieve it.

At least it will be a medal to show my parents.

And to thanks them for their sweat and tears for bringing me up.

I love my family.

My life's kinda messed up tho...don't really know what i am thinking lately.

Tell me...is it really a crush??mutual or one sided? =\

I really wana know.....

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Hectic, Full of Surprises, full of sadness, but still full of joy

By Bryan
It's the time of the year, the sem or the month??i duno...
but 1 thing i know is that, IT'S SEM BREAK!!
ahaha...and another thing i notice is...
it's been such a long time since i last update my blog... @@
lost my motivation to write stuffs in this blog.
So now, i am trying to find back the motivation to blog.

Lets start off with this sem.
It's been a long sem for me.
May - September (including study weeks and final exams)
3-4 months with lots of things happening.
Unexpected things, unwanted things, joyful things, sad things.
2 of my friends left Uni this sem.
2 aunts had suffered cancer.
for the 2 friends, at least they are having a great life now.
god bless them... =)
for my aunts, i hope they do well...
the whole family is fighting for them as well.
Say No To Cancer!

And it's the time or my turn to do the Final Year Project (FYP).
having a tough time to do the project,
but still will work hard for that.
My resolution, to have my grades above 3.0.
Can I do it? lets hope i can.. =)

Currently, i can say that i am enjoying my sem break.
Went to Kuala Lumpur to work in a Nike event.
Before working, we lepak-ed at Sunway Pyramid for a day.
Went for Ice Skating for the 1st time,
and needless to say,
i enjoyed it alot...lolz wootz stim bom bom.
Jatuh satu kali thanks to Miss Liew Khai Shin.
Why thanks leh??because if i din fall down in the skating ring,
means i din go there before...lolz... (Shin Xuan, 2010)

As for the work, too me its not bad la.
Full of experience, but it's boring at times.(when there're no customers)
But at least i get to learn new stuffs,
and made new friends + strengthen the bonds with existing friends. (^^)v
Thanks to Yik Siang for letting us stay at him house.
and sorry to Fuji and Chee Shing,
cause cant futsal with u guys... ><

For now, i am gona continue enjoying my sem break with my Muar kakis.
it's been a long time since i meet them, and 2nite there's futsal... =D
I AM GONA EXERCISE!!!! XP

"My heart is beating, but for whom it's beating?"
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The road

By Bryan
As usual, life's a bitch...
Finally completed all my midterms and assignments,
but still, there's my Final Year Project to handle... =(
to make matter worst,
there's still the moral campaign to take care of....
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i wana find a spot to shout till my throat explode + lung pop out.... ><

Once again i am confused...
what should i do?
to forget and move on?
or to be persistent and carry on?
either way, it hurts just the same....
isn't it easy to voice out what you wana do,
but too difficult to actually take d action?
if i can, i just wana run away....
somewhere far far away....
or just give me a potion that will make me forget everything.
I wonder...
how long will it take me overcome it this time?
you're getting further and further,
the distance getting bigger and bigger.....

"My heart's been frozen since the day u left,
bit by bit it's falling apart,
and soon be blown away on a snowy day"

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A tired tired sem

By Bryan
Just like the title above,
it's been a tiring sem for me.
Not because of tutorials,
not because of classes,
but because of performances.... o_0
This sem, it's my first time performing in Utar.

My First performance, OHANA Talentime 2010.

I must admit it's kinda enjoyable to perform on stage,
love the excitement.
Thanks Eugene, Aimless, Ocean and Yun Yi for giving
me such a wonderful memory (altho i am only shaking the shake2 XD)

However, the 2nd performance, Asian Cultural Nite,
was a total disaster.
No words can describe how much we suck that night.
But however, i cherish the moments
we spent together, rehearse together,go up stage together.


Me, Ocean and Eugene


Aimless dan saya

And for now,
it's time for me to rest i guess...lolz...
too tired to perform anymore. XD
and it's my last year studying in UTAR.
y3s1 with many many assignments yet to come,
not forgetting the Final Year Project. GG~~~~

Although many new memories were created,
i am still reminiscing the memories with you.
it's been a week since we last chat,
whatever i am doing,
u are always on my mind.
When i wake up every morning,
it's you that i will be thinking.
technology is advance now.
there's internet, there's phones to communicate.
but, since you started work,
u are busy and...
i duno....i just don't wana disturb u.
even if u need help,
i can't fly to your side to help immediately.
all i can do,
nothing......nothing......
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